Sunday, July 21, 2013

Hello, Self. So nice to make your acquaintance.

Do you ever forget who you are?

Working tonight with sticky hands and arms, intently focused on the papier-mâché in front of me, listening to music I love - I felt so alive and satisfied.  Alive!  If not happy, then sublimely contented!  Lost in the moment without care for anything else.

It's an intense, special sort of alive that I experience often when doing such things.  Molding papier-mâché, sculpting with clay, sketching, painting with oils.  Artsy endeavors where I am able to become immersed in the doing, and through which I can easily express myself.

And so much the more so when coupled with music that I love!

And yet...

And yet I go years sometimes without ever doing this.

Decades, even.

I am only just beginning to listen to music after several years without it having had any presence in my life.

I am only just beginning to again find or create projects for myself, or to find the time to sit and create when I feel a niggling urge or conceive a partial idea that I'd like to explore.

Where have I been all this time?

What have I been doing?

What has kept me away from that which makes me feel so much more myself?

Whatever the case, I am grateful to have stumbled back into it, and I hope I don't unintentionally stray so far away again any time soon.