I've been thinking this morning about how the 5 stages of grief (adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' book, "On Death and Dying") correspond to my feelings these last few weeks. Denial, Anger/Resentment, Bargaining, Depression -- all very familiar. I haven't traversed through them in any fliud order and I've revisited all of them more than once, but I have felt all these things so I think her stages of grief may apply to me to some degree.

The last two or three days, I've begun to notice a change. Every now and then, I start to feel acceptance. It's not that I don't feel any of the others anymore -- I still bounce back and forth quite a bit -- but I feel calmer, more serene, and it's like... it's almost like acceptance is a magnet and I can feel it subtly pulling me in. It's the strongest of all the stages, I think. I may not feel it all the time at first, but it will pull me back time and time again and eventually it will be where I settle and rest. I feel this as a promise that I can look forward to, even when fear pulls me again towards denial or depression or resentment.