I can't stop crying.

I'm really angry at myself. I noticed, maybe two weeks ago, that Cricket wasn't feeling well. I made a mental note to pull her out, give her some extra attention, check up on her a little more often. And then with all the hubbub of starting a new job, I completely forgot about it.

And now she's dead.

I could have maybe done something about it - quarantined her, made sure she had extra food/water/warmpth - gotten her to a vet - but it all just slipped my mind. I'm so stupid.

And I'm at work, and can't even really deal with it. And I love the people at my house, but they don't sound like they're dealing with it very well. Mike and I were bickering a little on IM, but he cut it short and offered to run over to my place and take care of things once I told him what was going on. He's going to go at least get her out of the cage and take care of little details like that so that she isn't just sitting there decomposing.

I'm lucky that he's willing to do things like that. When we're not arguing, he can be incredibly good to me, and so helpful. Thank you, Mike, for helping out in a difficult pinch.

@#$%

I feel sad, angry, guilty. So angry at myself. I don't deserve to have pets.