I took yesterday off work. Nice, very nice.

And I cleaned my apartment! My bathroom feels like it belongs to someone else, it is so clean and sanitary. And the rest of my pad isn't quite there, but almost... feels good. Homey. I like being here.

And now my friend Alex from highschool is visiting for the weekend. Kickass.

Programming Genius or Serial Killer - can you tell which?

I have infected Mr_X0.

I feel like I weigh about 468 lbs. My whole body hurts, and my limbs feel so, so heavy.

I am trying to hold myself to a policy of no self-indulgence while I get over this stupid cold. I won't medicate myself (with the exception of consuming lots of tea and chicken soup), I'll go to work, and will do all the things I normally do. I'll act as if I am well and will then be well.

Only, at work today, I was feeling so poorly that I had to leave early. Then tonight I tried to go to an SSC board meeting and to my Tango class, only in Tango I got really lightheaded and almost passed out and at the board meeting I was felt overly feverish and had a really hard time concentrating.

I hate being sick.

The Fable

Once upon a time there lived a girl. She slept in a lovely little cottage made of gingerbread and candy; she was always asleep. One morning she woke up and the candy had mold on it. Her father blew her a kiss and the house fell down. She realized she was lost. She found herself walking down a crowded street, but the people were made of paper, like paper dolls. She blew everyone a kiss goodbye and watched as they blew away.


haiku for him

he peels off my clothes
like a starving man would peel an orange
his lips taste my juicy sweetness
my legs tangle with his
we become
one being
a burning furnace
in the cold cement basement of love

- Submissions for "The Lit" on My so-called Life, Episode 06: The Substitute.

HAHAH HAHAH!-ahHA ha hah ah ahg heahahaHAHAha. ha. ha.

Check it out: the software process in actuality.

Where do snot and mucus come from? Why is there all of a sudden so much more when one is sick?

And when you get all stuffed up, why is one nostril invariably more stuffed up than the other? Isn't there ample snot to go around?

and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
but I have the sense to recognize

that I don't know how
to let you go
I don't know how
to let you go

(excerpt from Sarah McLachlan's Do What You Have To Do)

I almost never have insomnia problems. If anything, I have trouble keeping awake, not sleeping too much -- I'd happily sleep 12-16 hours/night if I could.

I really don't envy those of you who struggle with insomnia on a daily basis. It sucks. Almost as bad as this stupid ass cold, but nothing could suck quite that bad. Except a hoover. Or maybe a turbine, or a funnel-shaped vortex.

Woke up,
couldn't sleep
stupid cold
plugged up nose
lack of air
lack of breathing
so here I am
drinking menthol-laden tea
writing this.

I have never in my life done a pullup. Well, not a real one. I could do the ones at the gym on the machine that compensates for a large part of my body weight, so I wasn't really doing pullups; I was doing pull-a-percentage-of-my-weight-ups.

How do you ever do the first real one, anyway? I can't do them because I don't have the strength, but I never build up my strength because I can't do even one. I don't have access to the gym anymore to use their cheater-machine to build my strength up.

Bah.

I was so proud of myself; I hadn't been sick all winter up until now. That may not sound like much, but I have the worst immune system in the world. Well, pretty bad, at least. I had chicken pox three times before my body caught on and finally built an immunity.

Anyhow, so much for that run; I've got a nasty cold. I feel like someone hit me in the head with a hammer, funneled two or three pounds of luke-warm water in through my ears so that it would swish around in my head all day, stomped on my chest so that I can't breathe quite right, and then plugged up my nose just for fun. I hate being sick.

----- Original Message -----
From: "august.krueger"
To: Krueger@yahoogroups.com; Hulsizer@yahoogroups.com
Cc: "Nelton, Amber"
Sent: Monday, November 10, 2003 11:42 AM
Subject: [Hulsizer] Leroy

I just had a quick conversation with Leroy. He says his unit has been moving south. They are no longer in Iraq. His unit is preparing to load their equipment on ships. If everything works out well, they will finish that up in three weeks and fly back to Fort McCoy for three weeks. If there are no hitches, he will be back by Christmas. So, what what are the chances that everything will work according to plan?

Augie

SWEET!

I was in a good mood last night. I'm in a good mood this morning. I've been unusually pleasant towards Mr_X0, and he's actually been fairly pleasant in return. I think maybe we're discovering new, more effective means of interracting with each other -- things probably wouldn't be working out like this, except that I'm flying so high that nothing can phase me and the good feelings seem somewhat contagious. Good stuff, Maynard.

I can't access The New York Times Online from work today. Bugger.

I had one of my best dance nights ever last night; I was so happy. Really hit a groove, was moving better than usual and was really aware of both my body and my partners' bodies. It felt so good.

And I got to dance with Jason Christodoulou - twice! So sweet.

I didn't used to get much spam; maybe 1 or 2 spam mails / month. Then, a week or so ago, I started getting 5-10 spam messages / day.

Coincidentally, I signed up for an ebay account just a week or so ago.

Coincidence?

I think not. Ebay gave out my address! Poo on ebay.