Saturday, November 08, 2003

Our ultimate opponent today forfeited, so we "won" without having to actually show up. Crazy.

It's just as well though, I guess. It's been a long day and I can use the extra downtime.

Friday, November 07, 2003

Damn traffic.

It's gotten worse over time, not better. What's up with that?

I'm so selfish I'm going to make Alex and Mary drive over to the East Side to hang out with me now, because traffic isn't bad COMING here, just leaving.
Yes, I am still at work. I took a look at traffic and decided I'd be better off sticking around and playing an online game with Mary while I waited for it to clear up a bit.

Woah. Check out The Meatrix. Somebody had way too much time on their hands.
The weekend will be busy too. I have a dance workshop that spans tonight, Saturday day, and Sunday day. Then on Saturday and Sunday evenings, I'll be busy rushing around for my ultimate team's playoffs. After that are the night time dances. In whatever freetime remains, I want to work on getting my apartment cleaned up for Alex Phelp's visit next weekend. Crazy crazy busy busy bee, buzz buzz buzz.
Busy day at work today; not much time for blogging. I'm about to head home, though -- happy, happy.

A friend wrote me email last night saying that he wonders at the way I disappear when I'm not feeling 100 percent. I wonder when I picked up that habit, and whether it was the result of Jeremy rubbing off on me? I remember back in the day, getting unbearably upset about his taking space and needing downtime. Now I'm quite liberal about taking that sort of space for myself.

Thursday, November 06, 2003

I had a bad day yesterday afternoon. It was as if my body and soul filled up with negativity so that nothing else could fit in. Everything was getting to me; work, people, the world in general. I dealt very poorly with several friends, snapping at them, getting extensively irritated, and ultimately cutting the conversations short. I felt loathing for anything, everything, and didn't want to deal with anybody or anything. It was all-consuming.

I don't like when I get that way. It's scary. It hadn't happened for a long time before that, and I hope it doesn't happen again for a long while yet to come.

Today, happily, is a much better day; I'm in good spirits. Even last night, sometime during the dances, I started feeling better. I think the adrenaline was good for me.

Here's to good health and good will.

Ed was on my bus today. Somehow we got to chatting about the US vs. England, Lithuania, and much of Europe, especially as pertains to homelessness, social programs, health care, etc. It left me feeling sad about the state of our country. As Ed put it, "It's great to live here if you are young and can work, but otherwise, you'd probably be better off somewhere else."

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Only the Good Die Young was playing on the radio on the way home tonight.

I remember the first time I really listened to the lyrics of that song, back in early high school -- I was scandalized. For any of you who aren't familiar with the song, it's a series of lines directed at a young Catholic girl attempting to convince her to give up her virginity, to the point of insinuating that she'll die young if she is too much of a prude. "Woah woah woah, come out, come on, Virginia don't let me wait -- you Catholic girls start much too late. But sooner or later it comes down to fate; I might as well be the one. You know that only the good die young." I couldn't believe that something so nefarious would run main-stream, and worse, that my beloved Billy Joel might be responsible.

My, how times change. The song seems almost tame to me now.
I just took The Hell Test. Here is a list of possible scores:
  • 0-20: A life with the church is too corrupt for you.

  • 21-40: You barely make our scale.

  • 41-60: Approaching normal, you aren't much fun on a date.

  • 61-100: Normal, you use your right hand like everyone else.

  • 101-130: Above average, you've got a few tricks below the belt.

  • 131-160: You're enjoying life to the max.

  • 161-200: You're a danger to society. Who let you out on a day pass?

  • 200+: You're going straight to hell.
With a score of 148, I am having a jolly time here on earth. What's your score?
It's 4:00 pm and I'm going home for the day. Kick-ass!
I just finished up some stuff that's been pretty hot at work for the last few weeks. Now, all of a sudden, there's nothing really important left to do. I'm not behind on anything. I can do background maintenance on my servers, prepare for upcoming bugs and such, but - there won't be any focus on me for a while now. Feels strange. On the bright side, work should be zero stress for all of the conceivable near future.
My boss at Company_A wrote me an email yesterday asking me to call her, so that she could "discreetly inquire" whether or not my officemate came to work yesterday and report results to his Company_A boss. That company is so messed up.

Monday, November 03, 2003

It's hard to work when you've had your eyes dilated.
Today on KUOW's The Conversation: Infidelity.

. . .are we talking about the same thing when we talk about infidelity? The boundaries can vary from relationship to relationship. Do our attitudes about infidelity change over time? Is there a degree of physical intimacy that stops short of infidelity? Is there such a thing as emotional infidelity? If you have a relationship outside your marriage or partnership where you share everything about your inner life, are you betraying your spouse or partner?
I caught a bit of this show on my way back to work after an eye exam today. Interesting topic; it feels very personally relevant. I'm going to have to listen to the entire show once they post the archive online.
I dreampt last night that my Jeremy passed away. I'm not quite sure what the dream meant. Perhaps my subconscious was trying to tell me that he is no longer a part of the life that I live now, and I need to finish moving on and letting him go? I don't know. I felt sad in the dream, though.
It is so cold here lately, and not even the consolation of snow to make it all worthwhile!