you know what? it's fine.
it's all fine.
you care little enough about my art that you are willing to throw it
away, or to let your friends throw it away.
I thought it meant more to you than that
but now at least i know.
i believed you when you said yesterday morning that there would still
be a chance to look through everything once before it was gone
but i was naive.
it's not pretty
in fact, sometimes it's really shitty
but most of the time the bleeding stops
and it all heals over
leaving a scar to replace what was once there.
naivety is sweet
but it's a sickly sweet
and it's sometimes better that it be lost.
instead of the art and mementos art to aid my memory
i'll have the bleeding
and the pain
and then the scarring
and i'll just cherish the scar instead.
i'm angry now
i can't be angry long
when it's gone
instead of loving you for what i thought you to be
i'll take you for what you are
and i'll just keep the things that don't matter to you
to myself, where they will be safe.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Yes, I know that I still need to post my birth story. And pictures of my baby, who is getting to be less of a baby and more and more of a little person. But I'm not going to just yet. Instead, I will leave you with bad poetry. Bad, but emotional. I'm pretty emotional right now, and it needs out...so here it is.