Saturday, September 13, 2003

If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
My ultimate team, ALLCAPS, had its first official game of the season today. We won, 15-10. Not a bad start.

Someone on the other team had a bad dive while defending and hurt his knee really badly. Two games so far this season -- we had a scrimage last week -- and both games, someone on the other team suffered a nasty injury. Not cool.

Both games, my left knee kept popping whenever I was running and cutting. Also not cool. I'm going to have to talk to a doctor about that, maybe.

Outside of that, today's game was good. I caught everything thrown to me, and completed all passes I made. We all started off kind of weak -- at halftime, we were only ahead 8-7 -- but we started playing pretty well together midway through the game. I'm looking forward to the rest of the season.

Friday, September 12, 2003

I've been having a bad day at work. A nasty, horrible day. Stupid ass politics -- I just want to do my job. Why should that be so hard?

Add in that I have cramps, I've been fighting with someone close to me, and Mr_X0 is being his usual pain-in-the-butt-self.

It's stupid, but when work gets bad like this I totally internalize it. If work is going poorly, I start feeling like my life sucks. I know that's uncool and irrational, but I seem to do it anyway.

Trying to figure out the schedule for busing to work. I'm scared of the bus. A bus virgin. I wanted them to have a FAQ for people who were scared of public transit on their main page, but no such luck. I guess it isn't scary to most people.

Oh well, we'll see how it goes.
Johnny Cash died today. Brian Moore will be sad. I'm a little bummed about it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Today is a dreary, drizzly, overcast day -- the sort that Seattle is famous for, and actually the first like it that we've had in months.

I forgot how slick the roads get. My car hydroplaned on the exit ramp this morning, coming off the highway on the way to work. I lost control and nearly spun into the edge rail, but managed to regain control before that happened, without incident. It was scary, though. I'm still just coming off the adrenaline high that comes with being scared out of one's wits.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Man, I am such a dork. I was at lunch today with Miles, and his recruiter happened to be eating at the same restaurant. After we finished we stopped by her table so that he could say hello. I was wearing my "CANADA" sweatshirt.

Miles recruiter, trying to make polite conversation, asked me, "So are you Canadian?"

"I wish I were," I replied.


Her date coughed and attempted a smile. "Well, it's a start," she said.

Yeah. Great. Kathy is a dork.

Monday, September 08, 2003

I did a scary thing today; I braved the lurking horrors of my refridgerator to clean out all the summer's leftovers. Yes, there was stuff from June in there. No, not all of it was recognizable any longer. Some of the leftovers made me nostalgic; I remembered the meal I'd had with Mary and Laurie, and perhaps Alex or Chris or Mike. But the mold and goop made me less so, and now it is all gone.

On the subject of food, I've been craving strange combinations of food.

I am having dinner.

It is a grilled sandwich -- cheese, chicken, fried egg, and a little bit of ceasar dressing. And a glass of water. Yum. I am happy.
I realized yesterday at my ultimate game that somewhere along the line I've stopped thinking of myself as 'Kathy'.

I introduced myself as Kathryn, and some of my team mates asked me if I go by anything shorter. The first time they asked, I told them that they could call me Kathy, but it felt so foreign and strange as it rolled off my tongue. It also felt strange when they called me Kathy, because not many people do these days. The next time somebody else asked, I responded with Kat, and that's what seems to have stuck.

Jeremy always preferred Kathryn. Mike always preferred Kat. I tend to use Kathryn for formal communication anyway -- mail, email at work, etc. -- and I guess I've gotten used to most of my friends in Seattle referring to me as Kat or occasionally Kathryn.

Strange. I've somehow lost my childhood name.
Alex and I got together at 7am this morning, had breakfast, talked, and worked things out. He's been really depressed lately. I'm a little depressed. It's not a good combination. I think things are going to be okay, though, and I think we're both feeling a little better about each other.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Alex really hurt my feelings today. He was so negative towards me, and in his expectations of me. It sucked... now I feel depressed and a little lost, because he's one of the few people I've felt like I could count on unconditionally these last few months, but now he has all this negative energy directed towards me. I was crying after the phone conversation. Stupid.

I played my first ultimate game with my new team today. My left knee kept popping; popped on almost every step when I was running. It sucked, and it worried me. Then someone on the other team broke their ankle during play.

I'm glad, I guess, that I have health insurance again.

I dreampt last night that there was a fire, or something, in my apartment, and all but one of my birds got loose. When I came home and found out, I walked around the neighborhood calling for them and most of them came back to me. Pookie came right away when I called her. But I called and called for Cricket, and she never came... it made me really sad.

Somehow in the dream she wasn't dead yet, or I didn't know that she was dead. But looking for her, never finding her again... I don't know. Maybe it was some symbolic attempt on the part of my subconscious to come to terms with her death.

Even now it still makes me really sad.