Saturday, November 01, 2003

I just gave my dog his first bath in over a year. Boy, did he need it. From the way he shivered and cowered the whole time, though, you woulda thought the world was coming to an end.

It was better than the last bath though. Last time, I had to physically hold him in the tub to keep him from bolting. It was a showdown between he and myself, and we both lost out -- I think it was one of the most tramautic experiences we have ever shared. He was so upset and unhappy that he wouldn't eat BACON that Jon had made for him. Freshly made, human-grade bacon.

Anyhow, this time was better. Not great, but better, and he smells much less offensive now than he did before.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Crazy patent stuff going on lately.
I have a had a number of dreams over the last few months set in an apartment that, in the dreams, is "my" apartment. Only it's not the apartment I live in right now. It is always the same in the dreams; a bottom corner unit in the lower level of a small building, perhaps just a house. Large and roomy. A beautiful living room, kitchen, bedroom, and then a screened in patio area, as well. The floor of the patio sits just a step or two lower than the floor in the rest of the unit. There is some intricate laticework in that room that I love looking at and touching.

The unit doesn't correspond to any place I've ever lived. I can't even remember ever having visited a place similar to it. But I dream it again and again.

I don't know why I dream things like that.

Last night, Louie was in my dream. And so was a puppy; his puppy, just a few months old. He was playing with it, romping around, having a great time. They were so cute together. The puppy looked very similar, but would grow to be a bit bigger than Louie, with less peach coloring, as the mother was a full blood Pyranees. I felt so happy to have both he and the pup, knowing that even after he passed on I would still have dogs around that carried on his line.

But Louie is fixed. He will never father any puppies.

Louie is such an awesome dog. I will have a hard time letting him go, whenever he does pass on, so I can understand at least that portion of the dream.
Do I have a mark on me on me that says, "Hey, if you're married, I'd be great for an affair"? I just don't get it.

Why would you even want an affair when you've not yet been married more than a month? Why would you get married when you'd rather be sleeping around? Or if you feel you must do both, why wouldn't you marry someone who you could communicate that to, and come to an understanding together about how it might work? Why sneak around?

Or if you've been married for years, have remained relatively faithful for all of that time, and wish to remain with your spouse, why would you choose to look for sex outside the marriage now?

And why do you think you're going to do it with me?
Smoosh. Oh my - SO cute!

Two singing sisters make up the Seattle band Smoosh. 11 year-old Asya is on keys, and 9 year-old Chloe plays drums. Join them for a live set of indie-pop with elements of rap and jazz.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

He (my English-challenged friend, whose name, by the way, is Ed) really is an interesting person. Here is a longer excerpt from our conversation:

Ed says: Would you like to live forever and never get old?

Kathryn says: I don't think so. I would be too sad when all my friends began to get old and I was left behind.

Ed says: That is true.

But you would try everything in this world and you would be such a wise person.

Ed says: How old is your body?

Kathryn says: 25.

Kathryn says: How old are you?

Ed says: How old is your soul? :)
The mystery of my new English-challenged friend's accent is solved; apparently he is from Lithuania, and has also lived in Scandanavia and Germany in addition to the UK and the US.

He and I have been chatting over IM today. We were talking about foods that we each enjoyed and in response to a list that I sent, he asked, "Do you kook at home all these dishes?"

So cute!
My building manager decorated my building for Halloween. Several pumpkins sit in the front foyer, right in front of the big window by the door. All week, I have been wanting to "borrow" one, turn it into a jack-o-lantern, and put it back where I found it. I'm running out of time, though.
Yesterday on the way home from work I saw some guy smoking in his car. He was inhaling deeply, pulling all that tar and nicotine and crap deep into his lungs. It left me feeling nauseated, even just seeing it from the other side of the street. I don't know how I used to do that to myself.
Every morning, as soon as he gets any indication that I am waking up, my dog starts to spaz. He runs in frantic circles around the apartment. In the course of one circle, he grabs his leash and brings it over to drop it at the foot of the bed. Often, in the course of another, he finds a plastic bag sitting here or there and brings that, as well. All the other circles are just an outlet for energy and a reminder to me -- he knows what he wants, and he knows this is the time for it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Some nights are good, and some nights aren't as good. And some nights are up and down and up and down -- a veritible roller coaster ride, all contained within a few short hours. At least none are boring, I suppose.
Of the two songs I posted before, Never Too Late is by far the stronger one. It just moves and grooves... makes me want to get up and move myself.

Music makes me so happy.

I can hardly imagine life before recordings.

Or even worse, life before the invention of musical instruments.
Mr_X0 is OOF for the rest of the day. w00t!
Sorry for wasting your time
Five long months on the telephone line
Hours of asking if you were fine
and saying I was fine, too
Sorry, but I've got to go
The birth was quick, but the death was slow
there was so much I didn't know
so much I never knew about you

And so we disconnect
the room goes quiet around us
It's called the life effect
and it always surrounds us

Who made you happy last night?
I don't know his name
but Christ, can he fight
as I fell he told me you had a light
a light that shone inside you
I found myself a decent man, now
I love him because I can
The bravest that I've ever been -
was when I ran away from you

And so we disconnect
the room grows quiet around us
It's called the life effect
well, it always surrounds us
And so we disconnect
the room grows quiet around us
Nothing left to protect
the end has finally found us

The day is almost over
it's almost time for bed
so now you've finally lost me,
rest your weary head

-- Stars, Life Effect, from another in-studio live KEXP performance
Music of the moment: Michael Franti & Spearhead, Never Too Late. Such an awesome driving beat.
It's never too late to start the day - over
It's never too late to pick up the phone,
pick up the phone and call me
Never too late to lay your head down on my shoulders
never too late to come on home,
come on home
Here's a link to several of his songs, including Never Too Late, performed live at KEXP. Sweeeeet...
Mr_X0 is back today.

Work without him was so nice while it lasted... too bad nothing lasts forever.
A year ago this October, I baked an apple pie. I gave a piece to Alex. He kept it in his refridgerator all this time because he loved me. But then, last night, he threw it away.

The random guy I met at the bus stop last night was randomly on my bus again this morning, and it turns out that he works in my building on my floor.

I'm not sure where he's from. He hasn't been in the US long. I know he lived in London for a while as well, but he's not a native english speaker and I can't quite place his accent.

Anyhow, we decided, since we are so close together anyway, that we should eat together in the cafeteria sometime. I sent him a note so that he would have my alias, and he responded. The last line of his email said, "I wish you to enjoy your work. :)" I LOVE stuff like that. So cute. The thought is there, and the awkward translation just adds to the charm.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

The lesson with Jaimes tonight was awesome. Tangolicious!

Jaimes' friend Randy showed up towards the end of it; he was going to film Jaimes and Rachel practicing together after my lesson was done. The three of us sat around chatting for a bit while they waited for Rachel to show up. Randy remembered off the cuff exactly how many days it had been since he had last seen me -- 27. Kind of crazy, that.

Then I got to Patrick's house for practicing, but he wasn't there. Sat around for a while, but still no Patrick. I found a phone message after I gave up and came home; it turns out he had to stay late at work and didn't know how to get ahold of me. Oh well. The extra time to myself is nice.
The bus this afternoon is full; standing room only. As I was settling into place in the aisle just now, some random guy tapped me on the shoulder and offered me his seat. "Oh, no, that's alright," I said, but he insisted. I actually don't mind standing on the bus -- it is an exercise in balance and will, and a chance to feel rebellious, standing in a moving vehicle -- but I took the seat because he was so nice and I did not want to wound his sense of chivalry. So here I sit, writing this on a scrap of paper, while he stands and tries to hold his bag between his knees, read a book, and keep his balance all at the same time.
A complete stranger talked to me at the bus stop today - that's a barrier nobody had broken up until now. I was practicing movement, and he came up to talk to me about dance.
Japanorama used to be one of my favorite internet radio shows, but Antenna Internet Radio seems to be no more. I can't even look at the cache on Google because it's been overwritten by stupid BuyDomains. I'm guessing they were scared off by the RIAA, since they did archived programming as opposed to live stream (they did not correspond to any actual non-internet station) and the RIAA doesn't tend to like that. Stupid RIAA. Suckorama.
Some kids in Boca Raton, FL, were out playing ding-dong-ditch -- ringing neighbors' doorbells and running away -- when one neighbor, armed with a handgun, opened his door, shot, and killed one of the boys. Great. Freaking wacko. Glad he thought things through before pulling the trigger -- oh, wait. That's right. He didn't think at all.
Yesterday, the power was off in my work building in the morning. I was around when it came back on and I didn't have anything better to do, so I decided to just stick around and work even though everybody else was gone and I could have taken the day off too.

Early in the afternoon Jaimes called me to ask if I wanted to do a private lesson that night. I couldn't, but it turned out he was sitting around bored right then, so I took the rest of the day off and went to hang with him. It felt crazy just up and leaving so early in the day, but good. Sometimes I need a little craziness in my life. The buses aren't as regular in the middle of the day, so I ran over a mile to my stop to catch the next bus into the city -- otherwise I would have had to wait another 30 minutes -- and I got to the stop JUST as the bus was pulling in. I was really proud of myself. Figured out the transfers and such to get to the place Jaimes and Rachel are staying, and then hung out with him for a long time.

Jaimes is staying with some of Rachel's extended family and playing nanny to the kids while he and she live there. After I'd been over half an hour or so, we went to pick Nathaniel, the 8 year old, up from school. Such a cute kid! Played with him a while, then we went to drop him off at choir practice. While he was practicing, Jaimes and I went to a guitar store. Apparently Nathaniel wants to be a "rock star" for Halloween and maybe even for life, so Jaimes and a friend are going in together to get the kid a guitar. Fun fun fun. We also went to see the house that Jaimes, Rachel, and John are going to move into soon. There's an extra bedroom, and Jaimes was trying to convince me that I should move in and take it -- part of me really wishes that I didn't have the menagerie tying me down so that I could do things like that. Ah well. Always constrained later on by the choices we make, and I've made some crazy choices.

It was a really nice afternoon. Then that night Kristi and I had dinner together and watched Haibane Renmei. Good times all over.
Mary slept over last night. It's so fun waking up with her around in the morning.

Monday, October 27, 2003

There were some nice memorials for Paul Wellstone in MN this last weekend. I wish I could have attended.

It's nice to see, at least, that people are carrying on his work. Camp Wellstone sounds pretty awesome.
Had a bit of a sore throat this morning, so I brought in honey and lemon juice for my tea. I love honey! With all the buzz about sugar being so bad for you, I don't understand why people don't use honey more often as a sweetener, instead of sugar. It doesn't cause the same rapid rise and fall of blood sugar levels as white sugar does -- it has actually has very beneficial properties. Apparently it is also effective as a balm, acting an anti-inflamitory and assisting healing when applied directly to wounds. Hooray for bees.

I should also maybe look into sea salt as a salt alternative, and olive oil as a butter substitute. Actually, in general, I'd like to think more about all of the foods I eat, and all of the ingredients in the food I prepare. I've just been too lazy up to this point. I should stock up on some healthful reading for my morning and afternoon bus trips and really use that time.
We picked up the headphones at Frys. Frys -- oh my -- what a wonderful place. Only in my dreams had I imagined such a wonderland of electronics and mechanics.

Mary and I saw a clock radio that we were just enthralled with. Its shape, its colors, the way it felt in our hands, its levers and dials -- exquisite, all of it! Perfecto!

I managed to pick up one of the clocks, carry it with us to the check out, sneak it into my checkout pile, and pay for it -- all without her noticing. I was so sneaky! It was going to be a happy scrappy Christmas present, a delicious surprise. That is, until Alex looked at the pile and said really loudly, "HEY, you got the CLOCK!" Thanks Alex.

I finally picked up a pair of headphones this weekend! They are sweet headphones. My life at work will be so much happier.


I don't actually need the headphones today, as it appears I have the office to myself. There was a mysterious power outage in my building today, and all power and ventilation was off. There was a note on our doors from our manager advising us to just go home.

I took my time getting to work today, so I actually got here just as the power was coming back on. I'm going to stay here and work after all -- I'm hourly, so that's really in my best interests -- but it appears that all my Company_A coworkers, including Mr_X0, are out. Oh happy, happy day.
Morbid thoughts:

Have you ever wondered how long it would take for you to be found, were you to slip in the bathroom, crack your head on the sink, and knock yourself unconscious? How long it would take for someone to miss you? Worse, if you disappeared and were not physically in your apartment where you could be found, how long then would it take for somebody to report you missing?

These days, I don't see any one person every single day. There's not even anyone that I talk to every day on the phone or online. Sure, if I went missing on a work day my employers might miss me, but they're not entirely on the ball anyway and I don't think they'd come looking for me for a while.

With Mary and Alex, these days, and our weekend routines, I think it might be a week or so for me. Sunday brunch would roll around and they'd be wondering and worrying and looking.

All things considered, I guess that's not so bad. Half the reason the Green River serial killer here and the Picktons up in Vancouver got away with what they did for so long was because they preyed on a population segment that wasn't quickly missed -- many of the girls were not reported missing until months or years after their disappearances, and some, never at all. A week is much better than that.

A week is an incredibly long time, though. If I'm bleeding, unconscious on the bathroom floor -- a week would be an enternity, and would possibly be far too long to ever bring me back.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

I was wrong about George; he does seem to like me just as much as before. I, however, have decided that I dislike him. Perhaps I was just projecting my own distaste yesterday.

When did I get to be so critical of people? I didn't always like everyone I met, but I don't remember strongly disliking many people. Now there are a fair number of folk that make that list.
Hoshi no Koe is quickly becoming one of my all time favorite films. I watched it again last night while Mar and I were falling asleep... such a poignant story, and the animation is breathtaking. Beloved by me.
I just had a weird deja-vu sort of moment: I was stressing about a problem when all of a sudden I felt certainty that this same moment had happened before, that I had handled it exactly as I was handling it now, that everything had turned out okay, and that I could stop stressing because I already knew what the outcome would be. I've had deja-vu before, but not quite like that; never a harbinger of relief, known outcomes to current problems.
Today in Tango we learned a lot about keeping our axis straight up and down and about counter-body mechanics. Mario also talked to me specifically about thinking about the relationship between upper body movement and lower body movement, and advised me to work on only moving my lower body as much as my upper body's movement warrants. I applied all of what I learned to swing tonight, and wow - it made a huge difference. Tonight might have been my best dance night ever.

Then we went out with the Lorraine-Joon-Leigh-Shannon-Josh-etc crew for a bite to eat. That was fun. It was the first time I've ever hung out or really talked to any of them.

Realized at the end though that I had completely forgotten about the blues party tonight. Suck. Sorry about that, Andy. :(

Then I got home to find that I had accidentally left my new phone in the bird room, and they chewed up all the buttons. Suck again.