OH MY GOODNESS. PC craziness. I knew American textbooks were bad, but I didn't know the were that bad.

Last night sucked. Down in the dumps, bigtime.

Then I had nightmares all night long. Bleh.

I sign the new lease today! That's a pretty good start to the day, yeah? Hopefully the whole day will be better.

I was just reading Jeremy's blog again.

Happiness - I think much of life is about being happy, as well. But I guess we diverge at some point because I feel that if you get caught up too much in planning, you forget to just be. Just being - it's hard, but its a good place to sit, reflect, and be happy. If you don't have it, you might not even notice, but when you don't have it you're missing out on some real happiness. It's too easy in this life to become so busy that you don't even realize how busy you are, what you're not saving time for, and how that affects your ultimate happiness.

It sounds like he has had a rough time recently. I sympathize with him. He said something that I found interesting: "I remember reading an article a ways back that discussed an odd deficiency of our current school system. Namely, schools don't adequately prepare gifted children to deal well with failure. While other students experience failure as a natural part of school, gifted children generally don't, and hence they don't learn how to deal with faliure." I can definitely see how that would apply to him. I think it applies to me, too. I freak out when I hit failure. It's uncharted, scary territory, and I deal with it worse than almost any other crisis situation. I have this innate belief that I can do anything, be anything, and achieve anything, and when I hit rejection or failure it jars pretty deep against my foundations.

Off to clean and pack for the move...

I wrote this last night, but blogger was being funny and wouldn't let me post it:

6/4/2003, 11:30 PM

Today I finalized plans to move into Capitol Hill! I've been running around looking at apartments all week, and I've finally settled on one. It's a really nice place right in the middle of things, and actually pretty affordable. Great big balcony for the dog, nice kitchen, nice layout, nice space, lots of storage. Alex and Chris pushed me to really push my limits and haggle, so I also get free parking, the first half month for free, and the landlord is not going to do a credit check so I don't have to pay that fee. Yippie! He seems like a nice guy. Yay for buildings owned and maintained by real people, instead of corporations. Should be a nice change. Additionally, it will be SO nice not to have to commute back and forth from the east side to the west side anymore.

Next step - find a job in Seattle proper. Whee.

Hmm. I just read her blog. Sigh. I wish she were feeling more secure.

I know she doesn't have friends of her own here. That's why I'm letting her get to know the people I'm friends with - not so I can rub it in, but so that they can be her friends too. They're good people. And that's why I'm trying to get her involved with activities outside the house, like dancing - so that she can make new friends of her own. I know she's scared of people, and I'm trying to help her make a painless transition. I guess I'm not doing a very good job. :(

Bleh.

I'll have to think about that more.

Mary's living here now. So far, it's been really great! I'm so happy to have my little sister here with me.

We're looking at moving into a smaller apartment in Capitol Hill. It'll be squashed, but we'll be right in the middle of everything, and it will be much more affordable. I think it will be alright.