Saturday, January 31, 2004

I was amused to note a few days ago that G.W.B. only got 85% of the vote in the N.H. Republican Primary.

I was even more amused to read, yesterday, that, as write-ins, Kerry got 5% of that vote, Dean got more than 3%, Clark got over 2%, and another 3% was split between Edwards, Lieberman, Kucinich, and Sharpton. Go New Hampshire.
We had a double header for ultimate today. Ultimate, early in the morning, in seattle winter rain is not my favorite. It's even less so when I can't exert myself too much for fear of making my mouth start bleeding again, and so spend most of my time sitting around wet and cold on the sidelines. We had some good games though. ALLCAPS rocks.
I meant to go tango dancing tonight but forgot that the normal Saturday night tango dance has been cancelled in place of a super-expensive, super-formal tango ball. I think I'm going to pass on that. There's a late night tango dance afterwards that I'll probably hit, but that doesn't start until 1am.

In the meanwhile, I'm going to have dinner with Alex. Afterward, I think I'll drag him to The Pampas Room. Live jazz music, drinks, a bit of dancing -- nice! I went a few times with Eric a bit over a year ago, but I haven't been back since I started getting more serious about my dancing. Steve and Melissa who might join us. Should be good times.
Bzzzht on Brian and Jeremy, both of whom seem to have forgotten entirely that blogging even exists. Browsing over to their respective pages makes me want to cry.

Friday, January 30, 2004

We pursue that which retreats from us. So true.
More on the fiasco with LifeWise:

I dug up a the receipt for my payment, a bill that the lady who received my payment marked and stamped, and the carbon copy of the check I submitted for payment, and went to Kinkos this morning to fax that all off to LifeWise. It connected, came back with "LifeWise Plan of" for the receiving party, and transmitted the fax.

Apparently, however, someone "lost" the fax so I had to fax it all again. Found this out after not being able to get through to my contact for the majority of the day. I won't find out if they received the new batch of copies until sometime on Monday.

In the meanwhile, they've started sending notices for claims they have rejected from December since my coverage was "cancelled".

Didn't feel up to riding the bus home today. Nausea sucks.

Jon inspired me to think outside the box, though, and it occurred to me that Steve might have driven in today. I called him up and sure enough, he had his car and was willing to give me a lift home. Yay for Steve. Steve is awesome.
The painkillers today made me so nauseous. I've sworn off them going forward -- decided I'd rather feel like someone took a meat grinder to my mouth than feel sick like that again.
As I was walking from the Russian Center to the Dance Underground last night, some scruffy older guy begging for change on a street corner asked me to go out to a club with him.

It was the first date I'd been asked out on in forever. I... er... declined, however.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

My health insurance company (LifeWise, the Washington branch of Blue Cross) sucks.

The check I sent them in December got lost in the mail, so they lapsed my coverage and put in a cancellation that would retroactively nullify all coverage back through December 1st.

I found out about the missing payment and the subsequent lapse on January 18th, a Sunday. On Monday the 19th, I talked to a LifeWise agent on the phone and they told me that if I paid the missing amount by the 20th, the coverage would resume in full. Otherwise they would cancel my plan entirely.

Based on that information, I drove out to their Seattle Corporate office during my lunch hour on the 19th and paid on-site, just to make sure they got the payment. I paid through the end of February, just in case anything else went wrong. Everything seemed fine and dandy.

That is, until today, when I found out at the Pharmacy that my coverage has officially expired. I called LifeWise to see what was up and they told me that they have no record of the payment I made on the 19th.

I logged online to my bank account to verify, and sure enough, the check was never cashed.

Now I get to spend the evening digging around so that I can find my receipt and fax it back to them to show that I did, indeed, pay. Otherwise my coverage from Dec. 1 up until now will be void.


We really need Universal Health Coverage here in the US -- private plans, private insurance, and insurance tied to employers are uncool in so many ways.
Gasses from internal decay caused the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale to explode all over a busy street today in Tianan, Taiwan. Yum.

In other news, the whale was apparently well hung, with its penis measuring at some five feet. That's almost bigger than me.
My mouth hurt like hell this morning, so during the lunch hour I finally gave in and filled my prescription for generic Vicodin. Now I'm feeling sooooo gooooood.

It's good that I didn't drive today, though. Feeling kinda lightheaded. No pain, very happy, but perhaps not the best state to be operating a motor vehicle.
I joined a book club a while ago. Good books, good conversation, good company, although it turns out the woman who was running the club has a few issues to work out.

At some point, a few of the women decided to get together and hang out outside of the monthly book discussion meeting. The originator got terribly offended and has been sending out paranoid, angry, unhappy emails to everyone all week long, telling us how we are all evil terrible people who feel we are entitled. And that we are mostly (so-called liberal) whites compounds our crimes against she and the world. So much drama. Very strange.

Some of the women flared up in response, some stayed out of it altogether, and some responded very calmly and rationally. My first instinct was to get drawn into all the drama and address some of the angry emails, but for the most part I've just been sitting it out here on the sideline.

It seems the drama is nearly over now. Some of the women are still going to get together this Friday, while others of a more dramatic inclination have washed their hands of us all after having screamed their peace over multiple email threads. Since the group has been self-selecting and a number of people are stepping out, I think it will be interesting to see how the dynamics level out going forward.
The people in my hallway at work are like zombies. I smile at them as we pass eachother enroute to our respective offices, but they stare blankly back at me as if to say, "Who are you to presume to interact with me? You are nothing but a bug on the wall."

Granted, they are not in my group. We will never be required to work together to in any capacity. But should that preclude any attempt at friendliness?
Google bombing is quite the phenomenon. A few articles on the subject, for your reading pleasure:
I'm not sure if I was doing something weird while I slept last night, but I woke to find that my lower left side especially tender and seeping blood again. Not ultra-cool.

Gargled with salt-water, put some gauze in, and now I'm going to go back to bed for an hour to try and sleep it away.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

My holes-where-teeth-used-to-be don't hurt too much this morning (there is of course, some pain, but not unbearable), but my throat hurts like a @#$@#&#$. Stupid cold.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

I'm feeling worse now, 8 hours after the fact, than I did four or five hours ago. Blah. Still haven't given in the urge to take narcotics, though I might take part of the day off sick tomorrow if I end up feeling any worse than I do now.
My officemate made fun of me today for going back into work after getting my teeth out. :)

I probably did look and sound pretty funny with all the gauze in my mouth, and my mouth did get progressively more sore as the anesthetic wore off, but it didn't seem to affect my productivity at all. If I'd stayed at home I would have been bored out of my mind.
Just one more quick note --

It sucks when you're sooo thirsty, but you don't have control over your mouth or your ability to swallow so you cannot actually imbibe any liquids. Here's hoping this anesthetic wears off quickly!
All in all, everything went extraordinarily well with my oral surgery. I'm in a great mood.

I made the right decision about going with just local anesthetic. The oral surgeon said that I was a great patient; one of the calmest they've had. I was amazed at how quickly and effortlessly the whole procedure was. It was a little strange, hearing the bone cracking and seeing my blood on his gloves, but it didn't phase me at all. They had a little with some of the roots breaking off, and needed to work a bit on those to grab the leftover pieces. My lower left side will probably ache a bit because that was the worst of the bunch.

Overall, I don't think it took more than a minute for him to extract any one tooth. Very little effort at all on their part.

I kind of wanted to keep the teeth, but they donate them to the UW medical school and the assistant said they might find mine particularly interesting because they had the longest, thinnest roots they've ever seen.

They gave me a prescription for Vicodin, but I haven't filled it yet. The anesthetic is starting to wear off already, and I'm just going to wait and see how I feel once it's all worn off. I might be okay with just Advil, or with no painkillers at all. We'll see.

Time to head back to work...
Weather really does affect my mood. It seems illogical, but in the context of weather some of my mood swings make so much more sense.

Yesterday, everything was going fairly well, but I was in a foul mood. It was dark and dreary outside.

Today, in the oral surgeon's office even before the surgery (when many people might feel tense or anxious), I was feeling great. Very happy. It was sunny out. There were great big windows in the office letting the sun shine in.

Feelin' goooood...

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say -
It's alright

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say -
It's alright

- excerpt from The Beatles' Here Comes The Sun
I've had a cold the last few days. My throat hurts and I'm not feeling tops.

It figures that I'd already have a sore throat going into oral surgery! Just my luck.

On the bright side, if I had to have my teeth out and if I also had to have this stupid cold, maybe it's good that I get them both over with all at once. Then I minimize the amount of time I spend feeling poorly and maximize the healthy, feeling good time, ya?
Tomorrow's the big day -- my first surgery ever. If you can call it surgery. I mean, I know they call it "oral surgery", but what is surgery, really? What differentiates it from tooth extractions I've had before -- why is this surgery, and those weren't? Is it just because it's done by an oral "surgeon"?

Anyhow -

Tomorrow's the big day. Au revior, wisdom teeth!

Budget concerns and curiousity both weighed on my mind as I thought about how I would feel comfortable having the surgery done, and I finally decided to do it sans sedatives, sans laughing gas. Just local anesthetic. Exciting!

Off to sleep now so that I'll be awake and alert enough to fully appreciate this experience tomorrow.

I'm operating under the theory right now that if I keep going out to tango all the time, eventually it will get it into my body.

I went out tonight -- danced from the moment I got there right up until the dance ended -- and the only thing I got a feeling for was my aching feet.

Well, I am being a little melodramatic. I do seem to improve a bit with each night that I go out and dance, and I'm sure that applied tonight, as well. It's just that looking for the improvement is sort of like sitting down to watch paint dry or plants grow. It happens so slowly, so minutely that it's hard to see that it's happening at all. I'm impatient. I want it all to happen now. I want to wake up one morning and suddenly be -good- at tango! It kills me that I've got so far to go.

Monday, January 26, 2004

I have so much I want to get off my chest right now but nobody to really talk to.

It's tempting to blog it all -- I mean, what is this, but a conversation with myself? -- except that everything and anything that's weighing on my mind has to do with people, many of whom might read this, and it just wouldn't be right. I should be talking TO them, only I can't, and talking about them on a public forum is no substitute.

I feel isolated. There used to be several people with whom I felt very connected, who I felt I could talk to about anything -- assured that they would be supportive, non-judgemental, would really listen, would honor my trust -- but that feels broken right now with many of them. It's not that I can't talk to them at all, just -- not unabashadly, not about just anything. For at least some things, right now, the trust level is not there.

Maybe I need to take up painting or sculpting or music again. Create an outlet that's not talking, that's not bloging, but is all me. Not reliant on anyone else. Maybe I'd be happier if I figured out where I misplaced my written journal and picked that up again? I don't know.
finally getting my car fixed
here's to Kat
gettin' things done
woot woot
I love Lawrence Lessig. I want to bear his children. Except he's already having children with a significant other who is not me, so he probably will not want to father any of mine.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Bob Keeshan (better known by many as Captain Kangaroo) died Friday morning. Very sad. As a kid, I got so many laughs out of Mr. Moose and his buckets of cascading ping pong balls. And some folk from the show went on to help create other great shows like Sesame Street and The Muppet Show! Pioneers in children's television, really. Teletubbies and Barney and whatever else there is out there today just don't seem quite the same.