Today's a much better day, despite the fact that I'm starving. I have a gynecologist appointment in an hour and a half, and I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours prior.

My dog got to eat this morning. He was happy. He even downed his meds with relatively little complaint. Boiled rice in chicken broth - yum. I was jealous.

Mike was really good to me last night. He can be the world's best nurturer when he wants to be, and it's absolutely amazing and divinely comforting when he takes on that role. I was feeling quite a bit better by the time I went to sleep, and a good night's sleep was all I needed to shift me over the edge into a good, happy, sunny emotional spot. Thank you Mike.

The dog still has diarrhea. And he was vomiting both this morning and yesterday morning. I was starting to really worry, so this morning we went to the vet. I'm still not sure what exactly is wrong with him, but for today he's on a no-food, no-water, occasional ice cubes diet, to soothe the upset tummy. Tomorrow he starts with bland food -- rice and chicken broth, or lamb and rice, in very small but frequent portions, and he starts antibiotics and some other med to help with the runny stools. Fun fun fun for both of us.

In other news, I left the dance early tonight. Didn't really dance at all. It was the first time in months that I've been at a dance and really just not wanted to be there.

It started off poorly; I was supposed to work the door for the new class session, but was on the east side trying to move some more stuff over. That was another disaster in itself; they're redoing the parking lots over there, so I couldn't park in any lots anywhere near my building. Makes moving anything a real hassle. So I was heading back, and guess what -- traffic. Accidents everywhere. 520 west clogged all the way back to 140th St. I90 bridge standing still. Needless to say, I was quite a bit late, despite having alotted myself "extra" travel time.

The classes were okay, but after classes I ran up to drop off a check for Chris and to check out a new Tango practice venue. Jaimes was supposed to be there, but wasn't. He sent his regards through Susan, and said he might be there tomorrow night. I'm not sure I'll see him at all again before he heads off for his 3 month Alaska sailboat trip. I was also supposed to meet Randy, another tango dancer, about my level, to talk about possibly getting together regularly to practice. He wasn't there either. It wasn't a great time.

So I get back to the swing dance, and I want to dance. But Chris leaves me working the door for the entire 2 hour shift. (Usually people don't work more than 30 or 60 minutes in any given night. Then you still have plenty of time left to enjoy the dance.) And Mike leaves to "take a shower", but never comes back. Isn't there to keep me company while I work the door, isn't there dancing, and isn't there to dance with when I finally get done working. By that time, I'm just so bored out of my mind that I want to be anywhere but there, so I leave and walk home. And here I am.

Blah.

So with what's left of tonight (or tomorrow morning, I suppose), I need to go back to Redmond. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and forgot some paperwork there that I need to bring with me. Oh, and there's all the rest of my stuff to move before Monday. Ew.

The dog's got diarrhea. He was stirring up a storm this morning, trying to wake me up and get my attention, so I got up and took him out. Turns out not until after he'd already dropped a mess in the other room. It's the small things in life.

The war wages on:

Mike and Mary found Cockroach #2 in the kitchen tonight. They were not nearly as kind to #2 as I had been to #1.

When I found #1, I caught him and escorted him outdoors. I threw him off the balcony and he promptly ran back towards the building, possibly into one of the apartments on the lower level.

When Mary found #2, she screamed out to us. Mike bounded into the kitchen, caught the bugger, and in a nearly unparalleled display of manliness smashed #2 against the wall. He then yelped in pain because it hurt his hand.

Theoretically, I suppose #1 and #2 could have been one and the same. We'll see if any more show themselves.

Oil-streaked daisies covered the living room walls.
He put water-colored roses in her hair.
He said, "Love, I love you, I want to give you the mountains,
The sunshine, the sunset too.
I just want to give you a world as beautiful as you are to me."
'Cause I'm a painter, and I want to paint you
A lovely world.

I wish Mary would voice her needs more. She rarely speaks up when she wants or needs something, but is vastly unyhappy when the need is not met. I can't respond to her needs before she becomes unhappy if she doesn't clue me in, and it sucks that it often gets to the point where she's really unhappy before I even realize that there was a problem.

Up, down, up, down... up... down...

I love having Mary here, and it's great spending so much time with Mike - but wow, it's really nice to have a little time and space all to myself.

So I turned on the TV, just for kicks, and I actually get some sort of reception here, even without bunny ears. Better reception than I ever got in Redmond even with the bunny ears. Imagine if I hadn't broken the old bunny ears. Crazy. Welcome back, old friend TV.

I've been doing more nesting. Today I hit the kitchen with bleach again. I've been methodically working my way through all the cupboards, cleaning and disinfecting, and am about 3/4 of the way through now. I found what I believe to have been a cockroach my second day here - fast little bugger. I haven't seen any of the like since, but I decided to thoroughly disinfect anyway. I don't mind most bugs, but cockroaches are not cool. Spiders are great. They eat the less nice insects, mosquitos in particular. They don't eat my food, and they generally live and shit in far corners or somewhere on the floor. Cockroaches eat bacteria in my kitchen, and roam about and shit in my food. Not cool. I also did more cleaning and general arranging of stuff. Already, this place feels more like home than any other apartment has since I lived with Mike in Minneapolis.

So I've started a diary offline - lately I've come to feel that some things just aren't for everyone's eyes, or even for anybody's eyes outside of my own. I thought about keeping it online in a different, non-publicized location - the exhibitionist in me cries out to write someplace where somebody might eventually come along and read what I've written. Then again, I'm doing this to fulfill a need for an outlet for things too personal to share with anyone, particularly those I'm closest to, and if I write in a public space - well, you might just happen along and find it someday. And you might be hurt or confused or upset at the things I say. We can't have that, now can we? Additionally, there's some appeal to always having the diary with me, at my side, and being able to write in it anytime any place, regardless of net access.

I am also started an accounting notebook and a calendar. There's room in my purse now for all of them, and everything is nicely organized. I feel strangely at peace, having done all this.

Tonight I'm going to go through all the old mail I've been ignoring for months. Catch up on bills, make sure I get change of address notice out to everyone I should get it to, copy all my accounting information over into my accounting notebook - exciting, exciting. Bet you wish you could be sharing this with me.