Monday, February 09, 2004

New self-policy:

Whenever I feel down enough that I end up indulging in a cry, I'm going to do a self-portrait of myself, right then and there.
  1. It's hard.

  2. It's difficult to stay so self-indulgent while concentrating on something as difficult as drawing oneself while crying. Attempting to capture that emotion on paper is not easy and there isn't be room for self-pity when I channel all my energy into such a task.

  3. I've been stuck on things to draw. Well, here's something.

  4. It's hard.

  5. What does not kill me will only make me stronger. Hard is good for me.

  6. It's been a while since I've drawn regularly and I need the practice. This is good practice. It's a difficult assignment. But I'm not going to get back up to par if I don't challenge myself.

  7. Did I mention that it's hard? No self-coddling, damnit.

  8. It's an outlet for the emotion behind the tears. Diffusing emotion through such an outlet allows me to feel better. It's a constructive means of coping with strong feelings.
This is not to say that I cry often or that I will be doing a large number of sad self portraits. But when I do, I will.

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