Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I hate email. I hate that I can write any number of emails to any number of people, and sit for days, or weeks, and never get any response. The same for phone messages.

So, getting no response - what does that mean? Someone read what I wrote and didn't feel it warranted a response? Didn't read it at all? Didn't even get the email?

Do I just let it go, or write another, or call, or write a real letter? At what point does reaching out to them more become an annoyance, where they are perhaps sending some signal that I'm not picking up on because it's all-too-subtle?

I dislike the little ball of something-bad that gathers in my chest when I've written someone about something close to me, and it's been days, and they haven't responded, and at this point I'm not sure they ever will. I almost want to be angry, but then again, I'm probably one of the worst for being consistent in responding to emails and phone messages. So who am I to hold it against anyone else? It would be so hypocritical. So the ball just sits there. Sort of like the ball that you can feel in your stomach just after you've eaten Dicks, a little ball of fat and grease and salt just sitting, only this one is less salt and grease and fat and more bad feelings.

Or maybe I'm still just feeling the Dicks from last night.

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