Friday, June 10, 2005

  • I'm lonely in tango. I wish I had a lead or two, here in Seattle, that I could practice with.
  • Also, I hate politics.
  • Also, I hate when people are fake-nice and ask you to do things under conditions that you can't meet so that you'll have to decline but they can still feel good about having asked. Thanks a @#$@#% lot.
  • It feels hypocritiical to be teaching with someone I never practice with, and rarely even social dance with. I'm tired of it. But at the same time, I love teaching, and I want to do it, and the person I mainly get to teach with isn't interested in these things right now.
  • I hate when people send me emails like, "I don't want to live with you or be your boyfriend. I just like fucking you." Even if it's sardonic and not meant seriously.
So many chips on my shoulder, and they're heavier at night. I need to catch up on my sleep.

(The grand plan failed. I forgot that I was hosting people for tango stuff this weekend, and some were getting here today, and so I was somewhat obliged to take them out to the dance tonight and stay up late. And I did. And now I'm super, super, super tired. And cranky. And things that might not normally bug me are bugging me a bunch.)

Anyways, I know that they're chips, and that I'd be happier if I could let them go. And why am I holding on to them? Do they make me happy? Do I like the feeling of holding on to them? $@#% no - but so far I'm not able to let them go.

Hello chips. I acknowledge you. You can go now. Go. Goodbye.


Did that work?

I think they're gone, maybe a little tiny bit. Still there, but lighter.

Go chips, go. Go now. Goodbye, chips.

Anyhow, tomorrow will be a better day. Ultimate tomorrow night! And Stefan and Komala get here. And I don't have work the following day, so I can take naps and stuff. Good times to be had.

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