I have a crush on a man who is, for a number of reasons, absolutely unavailable. I really like him. And it just doesn't matter at all.
I haven't really felt this way since I was a teenager. Consumed with some feeling that I just can't find the words for, not able to really convey in a way that does it any justice. Can't find the right words, the right picture, the right anything. There's a bit of sadness to it, a bit of bitter sweet, something of an awakening, a bit of a feeling that it's good to be feeling anything at all.
It's all pushing on my chest; wrapped up in a cocoon but the cocoon is too hard, reinforced on the outside, I can't break out.