Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Time is slipping through my fingers. Yesterday, I was standing right there...and now suddenly 3 years are past.

It reminds me a bit of sitting in the back seat of the car as a child, trying to focus on the world swirling by outside. I'd set my attention to one spot and it would come into focus - a tree, an overturned wheelbarrow, and a field spreading out behind - but I could only hold it for a short moment before it slipped away. All the while everything surrounding that spot rushed by in such a blurred haze that I could not pick out any details except for swishes of color.

And, yet, if I did not apply that focused attention to singular spots along the way, they also becomes nothing more than a swish of colors rushing by.

That streaming, unfocused rush of colors ultimately consumed everything.

That is how life feels right now. I can focus on scattered spots here and there to bring them out in more clarity, but everything else is a rush and a swirl, and even these focused spots ultimately get caught up in the whirl as well.


Jessie said...

Curious - I had very similar thoughts on time, and only just now saw this.

Hope you're doing well these days :)

MeriAnne said...

I know what you mean. I can't believe almost a year has gone by. I know that while I have tried to be more focused I have allowed so many things to just swirl past me because I am just not ready to deal with them. Slowly the numbness is starting to wear off and reality is sinking in.