When I was little, I thought that I'd grow up, meet the one person meant for me, fall in love, and live happily ever after. It was all going to be so simple.

It never occurred to me that you could love multiple people simultaneously.

---

it's not
what you thought
when you first began it
you got
what you want
you can hardly stand it, though
by now you know
it's not going to stop
it's not going to stop
it's not going to stop
'til you wise up
- Aimee Mann, "Wise Up"

---

So I watched Magnolia the other night. Strange movie. I haven't decided yet whether I liked it or not.

I love the soundtrack, though. I've been listening to it non-stop today; I'd never heard of Aimee Mann before, but I think I'm a fan now. I'll have to keep her in mind next time I'm able to afford new music.

---

Last night in my Tango class, Jaimes reprimanded me again for bouncing. "Move like a panther!" It's hard for me not to bounce, though, especially since I've been working on making my Lindy lower and bouncier. I want to be able to move like he does, though. I could sit and watch him for hours. When he dances, he doesn't dance to the music -- he dances the music. I hadn't realized before what a huge distinction that was. Both he and Steven Mitchell absolutely floor me.

---

Emerald City Swing is in the midst of holding tryouts right now. I'd thought about trying out - I thought even just the experience of learning a routine and auditioning would be good for me, and I wanted to see if I could cut it - but ultimately decided not to go through with it. Tryouts would have gotten in the way of my tango class. They would have gotten in the way of Thursday night at the Russian Center, and that's my favorite dance night. They would have cut into Mike's visit, which would have been a bummer. And if I'd gotten in, weekly practices would have cut into the same things; I wouldn't have been able to do all of Thursday nights anymore, and I would probably have had to give up Tango at least for now.

So I've been talking to a friend who did try out about the tryouts, and he's disappointed. Lots of emphasis on presentation, synchronized styling. Doesn't seem as if it will help with everything he wants to fix in his dancing. Nice people in charge, but he's not sure he'd trust them to always know what's good in terms of dancing. He's not sure if he's going to continue with the rest of the audition process.

On the one hand, this makes me sad for him; he was really excited about tryouts, about the group, about possibilities.

On the other hand, it makes me feel a little better about my decision not to put the time into trying out. I'm sure I would have had some of the same complaints, and I'd now be struggling with the decision that he is. But I don't have that problem; my decision has already been made.

Maybe some other performance group, some other time. I would like to do it someday.