Do you ever feel...detached...from things?

There are people that I've really loved, that I've let just slip out of my life. Jeremy and I wrote a bit back and forth after Cricket died -- I mentioned to him that, because she had been so intertwined in my relationship, losing her seemed to add another note of finality to everything he and I had shared.

I really loved him. Part of me still loves him very deeply. But somehow I'm also okay with things being over, and... I mean... I don't know. It's really hard to explain. It's sort of like I'm looking down from above; I can see what we had, and I can appreciate that it was something beautiful, but it's not something that's relevant to me anymore.

So many things that were beautiful that aren't relevant to me.

I don't know what is relevant to me. I don't know if I hold onto the things that I should. I let things go, and they're so far away, and I'm looking at them from so far away. I still have that love, but I've lost my ability to -- I don't know -- hold on to it? To understand it? To make anything of it?

And this isn't the only case. I feel that way about what I've felt for many things, many people. Past friends, family, lovers...

It makes me feel a little sad, but I'm unable to hold on even to that sadness.