I just proofed the letter that Mary is going to send to Jeremy's family so that she could start transcribing it onto the card we picked up yesterday. It's a beautiful letter -- in it, she shares some of the better memories she has of him with his family, and her love for him shows through in everything she writes -- but it's so sad. It left me in tears again.

Don't any of you die.

Don't, not any time soon. I hate endings. I hate regret. I don't want to lose any of you before I've said everything I ever mean to say to you.

The other day, we bought postcards, notecards, stationary. I went overboard, and I think it's partially because of all of this that has been going on. I don't want to take anybody forgranted. I want to let everyone that I care about in any way know that I care about them, while I have a chance to do so. I let too many people slide too far away from me. Never talk to them, never call, never write... it doesn't mean I don't care, or that I don't feel love anymore, because I do.

Why do I do that? Why do I get so caught up in stupid little things that I forget to reach out to the people who have touched me over the years? In the grand scheme of things, there are so many things I worry about that ultimately aren't going to matter, and so many things that will matter greatly to me at some point down the road that, still, I let slide over and over again. I don't know how to keep my priorities straight. What will I regret someday? What haven't I done, who haven't I spoken to, who haven't I made amends with that I might never have a chance to again?

I walked around my room
Not thinking,
just sinking in this box
Blamed myself for being too much like somebody else
I never thought I would just bend this way

And a phone call made me realize
that I'm wrong
If I don't make it known
that I've loved you all along
Just like the sunny days
that we ignore because we're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong

- Excerpt from "4am" by Our Lady Peace