Wednesday, September 17, 2003

I've been having disturbing dreams lately.

The other night, I dreamed that I was on an airplane. A girl on the plane was being raped. Several people had pulled her down onto the aisle floor and were undressing her, touching her, violating her against her will. Everyone else on the plane, maybe 10-15 passengers in all, while perhaps not actively involved, were still aware of what was going on. Many were actively supporting it.

I was sitting a little ways away, to the front and to the left of everything that was happening. I have this vivid picture in my mind of the girl looking at me in a moment of utter desperation. Our eyes met...

And then I looked away. Pretended I didn't see. Kind of like when you walk by a homeless person on the street, and you walk by not making eye contact, pretending as if you don't see, so that you don't have to deal with it.

I felt so dirty. I still do, and it wasn't even real. And even now, the picture of this girl looking to me for help is burned into my mind.

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